


Mind Crisis: Can I Miss?

by MyrrdinBakers (TheAntiLamb)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Death, Animal Traits, Arthur is into his little nephew, Babies, Dark Merlin (Merlin), Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, F/M, He's a cute little psychopath, I'm kinda sorry, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), Kid Merlin (Merlin), Lets say just a bit evil, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Merlin Has Magic (Merlin), Merlin is a Little Shit, Merlin is a Psychopath, Modern Era, Pedophile Arthur Pendragon, Pedophilia, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Reincarnation, Stuffed Toys, baby merlin, he kinda likes lost it, man I am so sorry, merlin remembers, real bad, they are mentally old
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:47:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAntiLamb/pseuds/MyrrdinBakers
Summary: Merlin didn't expect to be Morgana and Mordred's child when he decided to let his soul reincarnate. Worst of all Uther is his grandfather. Arthur is his uncle, and a careless one at that. Morgause is his aunt, also she's married to Cenred and he wants to be a cool uncle.Thankfully he's not Merlin Pendragon. Still not helping.He's having a little brake down as a child. He's not sure he can handle this. But hey, its destiny.
Relationships: Cenred/Morgause (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Mordred/Morgana (Merlin)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 118





	1. Here We G- How Classic

Why wouldn't this happen? Why wouldn't Merlin be cursed to somehow be reborn? Why listen to the bloody voices in his head and golden dragons sputtering uselessly words about destiny, or fate, or 'that's just the way it has to be'? 

Here Merlin was, experiencing in all its full glory what it was like to be born. He was surprised at how short his rest was. 7 months was quite disappointing, and the fact that he didn't manage to choke himself to death on his umbilical cord, just to see if it could kill, apparently not him. It mattered not now, he would have to eventually see who is his mother this time around. He hopped he'd be blessed with his one and only true mother, Hunith, maybe he'd meet her, somewhere, sometime, somehow.

When he was completely out, thanks to the doctor, he let out a whine at the brightness, the doctor said something about, 'what a beautiful boy'. Then Merlin realized he couldn't just open his eyes, he was just born, and earlier at that. But the next words he heard caused him to have his first tantrum and the traditional 'I was just born' screaming show to the world.

"Ms. Morgana! He looks to have perfect health. Congratulations on your newborn son! Would you like to hold him before we wash him?" The doctor asked and Morgana smiled tiredly as she outstretched her arms. Shes held the screaming banshee with all the love and care in the world.

"Mordred is he not the most beautiful baby boy one could not have ever dreamt of seeing?" Morgana said smiling down at her baby; the child cried out again at the fact that the people who he had hated so dearly ended up as his parents in another cruel way of destiny trying to prove something!

"Is he not screaming a bit to much. He probably doesn't like you." Mordred joked and Morgana just shaked her head as she smiled. 

"Oh Mordred what was that name you said you loved? I want his second name to be Livian." Morgana said looking at her husband.

"Why love, I belive you once said and we agreed on Myrddrin. Myrddrin Livian Le Dru. What a wonderful name." Mordred said and Morgana kissed her child and handed him over to the doctor.

If baby Merlin could scoff he would, but he was too busy screaming in almost agony of just having to breathe. 

He soon was washed and returned to his mother in some cute light blue onesi and some sky blue socks and gloves and a benie. His face was red from crying and Morgana happily took her baby back in her arms. Mordred went off to deal with the hospital stuff and Morgana got to keep the baby because the doctors were calling it a miracle that the baby was so heathy after his hour long tests. 

"My beautiful prince. My gorgeous Myrddrin. You must know now. You have just made the happiest woman alive. You allowed me to be your mother. Don't tell your father, we might make him jealous. Oh mother would've loved you." Morgana said lovingly to her frowning child, cradling him as she relished in happiness at being a mother.

Soon a soft chuckle was heard and Merlin cried out after he heard it. It was Uther's. Soon the man walked in and Morgana looked up and smiled. "Father!" She said happily.

"Is he not gorgeous!" She said and Uther laughed as he nodded his head. "Yes! He is indeed. He looks so much like you. Less hope his eyes are blue." Uther joked and Morgana simply laughed lovingly.

"It matters not his eye color, as long as he has eyes I'll be happy." she said as she let Merlin take her finger. Merlin did so, grabbed it as best as he could, and sucked on it.

"Ah the little one looks hungry." Uther joked as he placed his hand gently on the babies head, as if wanting to hold it completely but too afraid to.

"Yes. I should feed him." Morgana nodded and she did so. She moved her hospital gown a bit and helped the baby Merlin latch onto her nipple. He felt weird doing so. Buy this was natural since he was a baby, and starving, very starving. My! Since when has he not had milk? The 1870's? Its fine he has it now. What year is it now? 2000's, has it been that long ago, that-

"Oh my! Father look he opened his left eye! Ohhh he has my eyes." Morgana cooed quietly and Uther's vibe was pouring out love like Morgana's was.

"Why I am a grandfather aren't I?" Uther said proudly and Morgana laughed. 

"Yes, turning into a bit of an old man huh pops?" Mordred joked as he walked in and took the other side of the bed to coon over their feasting baby.

"Ohoho, very funny, dada." Uther joked back and Merlin was trying to understand how this could have played out in any reality. He was going to lose it he definitely was.

"Oh his eyes are blue love, his eye peaked open. So early too!" Morgana said proudly. Merlin took the impulse on softly grabbing at her black long locks, his other one obviously landing on her breast. Morgana chuckled quietly and then smiled up at her father like a child getting everything they wanted for Christmas when her Myrddrin took her hair gently.

"Myrddrin Livian Le Dru…" Morgana said softly and Uther confirmed it by smiling softly.

"I can't wait to take him home." She said happily smiling at her two favorite men.


	2. Home Swe- Omg Is That?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More family.  
> And gifts.  
> Yay.

Finally at home a few more hours later. Uther helps Morgana in while Mordred pulled the stuff out of the car and into the house. Morgana was buzzing with excitement as she brought her baby home for the first time. "Oh Myrddrin! Welcome home!" she said excitedly as she walked to the couch and sat down carefully and motioned for Uther to come sit by her.

"Take him." She said. He did so, and it was so gentle and full of love that Merlin, or Myrddrin now, started to cry in horror, Uther started rocking the baby gently and singing to it gently. Merlin caught a glance of guilt in his mother's face and decided to calm down and cry silently. 

"Oh the poor thing." She said and Merlin realized it was not guilt, it was pity, she felt bad because she believed she was not being good mom if her baby cried so badly. 

Merlin decided from this moment to only cry when he needed his mother, since he can't move, and when they were not sleeping, except if he needed something again. But for the rest, he decided to just stared everything dead in the eye, he decided to just hide everything and internalize it and then compartamenalize it in his brain and just let it burn at his emotions. He didn't want to hurt this Morgana, she looked too innocent, too naive, too lighthearted and lovable. 

Uther on the other hand… We shall see. He was still most definitely pissed at Mordred though. He decided he'd leave that evil planing for later.

Myrddrin opened both eyes and Uther's eyes widened and he gasped in surprise and then curiosity at his grandson.

"He's a little gem now is he? His right eye has a golden ring around the pupil." he said and Merlin let out a cry, supposedly at being held up by Uther's out streatched arms. Not that his left eye was constantly pouring out magic. 

Morgana gasped in surprise but lovingly, like everything she did. "He has one of my eyes then, the other is just his." she giggled out as the father snorted at her logic. Mordred soon came and sat next to Morgana and watched them laughing as Merlin was back against Uther's chest.

"Well I'm taking your months off as well as a few more just to watch him grow." Uther said happily and Morgana agreed. "Does that mean I get to keep you aswell?" Morgana asked.

"Yes, yes it does." Uther said and they all laughed again. Merlin was realizing that in these times, they had a better relationship. And, it was somehow very good. Since they keep laughing.

Suddenly a book fell from a shelf and Morgana jumped up at the noise, Merlin didn't since he knocked it off. By accident because hes realizing he can't control his magic. Morgana stood up, and picked up the book to mark the page for later and then rubbed off the dust on her hands on her jeans. She walked to the fridge and gave her husband a handful of grapes and to her father. 

She looked at the babie curiously since it didn't seem interested in anything. He just stayed curled up and eyes closed.

"He's so wonderful, and an heir to a very prestigious company." Uther said proud and Mordred rolled his eyes.

"Let's hope he will find jewlery making and designing interesting." Mordred said as he sat back down after pulling some pillows away to finish up on the book he was reading on babies. Because he didn't know his son was coming earlier.

"Its so nice to finally calm down…" Morgana said as she cuddled with her father just to swoon over her chubby faced baby.

"His hair is so silky." She says as Uther touches the childs hair. "Yes, just like when you were just a babe." he said as there was a knock on the door. And since the door is a glass door, Morgana turned around to look and lit up when she saw someone. She stood up and walked over to open the door.

"Morgause! Why you didn't have to bring so many gifts!" Morgana said happily and Merlin whined as he hit at Uther's chest. Only causing the men sitting to laugh at the adorableness.

"He hit me, the little one, he's a fighter I see." Uther said as he turned back a bit to see his two daughters bringing in gifts.

"Oh maybe I can train him." Cenred said and Merlin cried out again.

"He doesn't like that idea." Uther said and the Myrddrin cried out some more as he began to cry. 

"Maybe he doesn't like you." Cenred joked and Morgause hit him in the back of his head. He laughed it off though. Morgause then ran to the baby and extended her arms to Uther so she could have the baby. He handed it to her and she cheered softly as she danced gingerly around with the child in her arms.

Morgana then slipped a binky into her baby's mouth and Merlin cursed at how comforting it was as he calmed down a bit.

"Morgana! Open the gifts!" Morgause said exitedly as she continued to dance, since Myrddrin was liking it so much. And he was indeed because he got to grab onto her long blonde wavy hair, like his mother's, but blonde. 

As Morgana unwrapped a bag she giggled at the toddler clothes. "Oh he's gonna look like a little man in these!" She said exitedly at the miny dress clothes.

"I had to buy bigger clothes since our father insisted in buying clothes up to his 2 year." Morgause said jokingly glaring at Uther and the man just pulled off his red tie as he chuckled softly. 

"First grandson. I couldn't contain myself." Uther excused and Merlin just pouted against his aunt.

"Oh this blanket is beautiful, oh look at that lion, just like fathers crest!" Morgana said as she immediately wanted it on her son and Morgause let her and then took the child back in her arms as she continued to dance as she cooed at Myrddrin because he was grabbing at the blanket.

"I knew you'd love it so much, so I washed it when I bought it, then when I sowed the lion in, and the last time to be safe." She explained and Morgana giggled.

"Stuffed animal time." Cendred said as he patted his lap at Morgause so she sat, she did so and Cendrid smiled at the babe. His hair was very short, and he looked even better this way. 

"Ohho! Its a lion and a dragon. Maybe its too scary for him?" Morgana said and everyone let out a chuckle, even Merlin decided to chuckle as well and Morgana almost died of that cuteness ad she went to take her baby back and relish in her newborns first smlie.

A low flash was heard and Morgana and the baby looked to the sidr at a smiling Mordred. "Ohh we're ending up with 3 first year baby albums." He said as he looked at his wonderful family.

Merlin soon realized that these people… Everyone he hated… That they were all good people deep down, that we're simply consumed by something terrible. He let another smile slip on his baby lips as his eyes teared up.

Morgana teared up as well as she smiled and kissed her babies head. "Your crying because your happy Myrddrin." She said as she sniffled and giggled. Everyone was relishing in the happiness. Even Merlin came to enjoy this moment, forgetting everything horrible. 

"Let's keep opening gifts this is getting too emotional." Uther said holding his chest and Morgana shook her head as she smiled. 

"Father that's not funny." She said and handed the new born clad in red to her father. It indeed was quite chilly here, so Merlin appreciated the warmth.

There where many more gifts, many weird stuffed animals, like snakes and crocodiles, bears and rabbits, a huge duck pillow that Merlin was ready to grow big enough to hug it entirely.

"Thank you so much Morgause, you too Cenred." Morgana said as she went to hug her sister and her husband.

"No need, I had so much fun getting stuff for him!" Morgause said excitedly. 

"I got you something too." She said as she took a small box out of her purse. Morgana smilied shyly as she recived the gift and opened it and hugged her sister again.

"I love these earrings, thank you sis, they are beautiful." Morgana said.

"Sapphire really goes with your eyes, I had too." Morgause said smiling. And the sisters and Cenred went to the kitchen to cook dinner. Leaving Mordred, Mryddrin and Uther to the low level tv on a sports channel. Uther had the child cradled in his arms as he relaxed too much and fell asleep. Merlin snorted mentally at this. Mordred watched the game and cheered quietly.


	3. My Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh... Someone remembers. Everything.

Over at the kitchen the girls were washing and chopping vegetables while Cenred cooked the meat. 

"Good job finding a 5 start chef, and not knowing you did until you were 2 weeks from wedding when he said, 'oh I got the food taken care of'." Morgana teased and Cenred rolled his eyes at what Morgause would say.

"He said he was a chef at a restaurant and was having a break because it was under renovation, it took 7 months and then when we went finally, i realized it was The Gran Veil a 5 star, I'd say 10 star restaurant! I didn't care where he worked! But that was mind blowing." She said the same story and Morgana happily heard it.

Cenred went over to hug Morgause. "Im glad you married me for being charming and a gentleman." he said and she nodded.

"And funny. And listenes to me." Morgause said and Cenred was like, 'shes right', and went back to the cooking.

Soon after the food was ready and everyone at the dinner table, they said their thanks while Merlin was thankfully layed down in a crib, one of many apparently. In the house. 

Merlin was beginning to wonder about the relationships, he hoped that they were the ones he knew. And if not, he would find out, and again, if not, he'd just have to ask his parents when he was at an expectable age to speak. Oh dear, he's accepting them as parents, it would be weird and worrying and heartbreaking to Morgana and Mordred if he he did not call them 'mom' and 'dad'.

"Im here." A thundering voice said and Merlins breath left his lungs so bad he began to cry.

“Oh, Arthur, you’ve made Mryddrin cry!” Morgana said a bit angry as she smacked her napkin on the glass table as she got up and walked over to her baby, but Arthur had already picked up the baby, he held it extended from his chest. Keeping it far away from him as he stared at it, the baby looked at him with no emotion. Arthur looked at Myrddrin, with a bit of disgust, or it was ugly thinking face #3.

“I have to say, the baby is quite a beautiful girl. And she looks gorgeous in the family crest and colors.” Arthur said and the baby lit up in giggles, the man’s head snapped back at the baby and he laughed himself.

“Arthur! Myrddrin is a baby boy!” Morgana laughed out. Not insulted or hurt as a Uther was, and when Merlin looked at his grandfather and giggled even harder. The baby then reached for Arthur to get closer and his uncle snuggled him closer in his arms. 

"Arthur I can't believe you come with such undignified manors to your nephew, and to Morgause's spouse and to the boy's father and grandfather! You may speek insolence out of our presence. If Myrddrin wasn't already the heir of Le Dru! He'd also keep my company! Boy why a racecar driver!" Uther started his apparently very usual argument and speech. 

"Father its all right." Morgana said respectfully but a bit hysteric. 

"Oh father it's fine." Arthur said attempting to look up at his father, who was standing up to fight some more, but was too distracted looking at the baby. 

Merlin cackled, but it was in pain. He missed out on Arthur coming back. How did he not think of Arthur! He's back, and he's a baby! Albion's time of need as come! But why did destiny say he needed to be a baby! 

"Myrddrin... Mr... y... dd... rin. Rin. Rin... M...r... rin. Myr... Mer... Merrin... Oh. Merlin." Arthur started babbling confused with the familiarity of the name apparently. But then he hit the mark and his eyes lit up with recognition. Merlin froze when the other focused on the eye with the golden ring. 

" Magic..." Arthur said softly and Merlin decided to escape this problem with crying. 

But before he cried his golden ring lit up and glass door to the patio blasted in pieces, then the baby cried out it's lungs and Arthur backed off holding the baby protectively. 

"What on bloody earth was that?" Uther said standing up. 

Morgana and Morgause jogged to Myrddrin to help him stop crying. Mordred and Cenred walked over to the broken glass to inspect it. 

"Was it a bird?" Uther asked rather dumbly but still worried. 

"Dad, a Bird?" Arthur asked in disbelief not letting go of Merlin. 

"It's 2 inch thick glass not even a hammer can shatter it in so many pieces." Mordred said and Cenred laughed. Mordred glared at Cenred and the man spoke. 

"Mordred my friend. I could shatter this glass with a hammer easily." 

Mordred rolled his eyes as Morgause handed him a broom. 

As the rest of the adults were discussing how this happened and how to get rid of it effectively. Arthur had taken Merlin farther into the house. The blonde made sure the baby was well wrapped in the red blanky and Arthur finally spoke. 

"I remember, but I'm not sure you do, you wouldn't have used your magic like that." 

Myrddrin started whimpering again as his tiny fists went to his eyes. Arthur shushed him lovingly. Merlin cried softly, since he was now sucking on Arthur's finger. The man smiled softly almost sadly. 

"Don't worry, I'll protect you this time, especially since we are family. How terrible, to be related to such a bad king? I still love him. Mother is still alive here, I got to meet her. She is wonderful. And all the knights of the round table are here. Alive. " Arthur said wishing Merlin would remember. Problem was he did. But thankfully Arthur was still a bit thickheaded. A dollophead. 

" Gwen has married Lancelot. It appears she was reborn with no memory, so she never loved me. Still doesn't. Shouldn't. " Arthur said nervously. Cradling Merlin as he looked him in the eyes for any sign of recognition, but Merlin didn't give it. 

"To be the child of the ones you hated the most with good reason. I'm so sorry Merlin... I came so late, saw you brake down into nothingness. Then I was reborn, no way of finding you, then finally. 25 years later. And here you are. My warlock." Arthut said kissing Merlin's head and cried silent tears. Merlin was in such disbelief that he could not process such things, he didn't want to and his brain refused. 

"I hope you remember, I'm dying to talk to an old friend that remembers. This time your my precious prince." Arthur said as he sat on a chair that was in a hallway close to the nursery that was being set up. 

"Oh Merlin." Arthur cried again and Merlin just held on to his hand. Crying as well. 

"I must be frightening you." He said sniffing. He got closer to Merlin to just stare at his eyes. The baby took his huge face in his tiny hands and Arthur laughed, feeling better already. 

"I know your in there... Thank you for coming back." He sobbed out happily. Merlin was feeling so happy, forgetting that Arthur had watched him for about 6 or more centuries. And all the dehumanizing things he did in his agony. Merlin smiled toothlessly at Arthur. His tiny body was in such rejoice that the flowers in a nearby jar grew more beautiful and in more quantity. 

"My prince." Arthur sobbed out one last time. 

At the end of the hallway Morgana was watching, he only heard the last word spoken by Arthur and felt so heartwarmed that she snapped a picture that Arthur barely registered. Merlin did and he naturally cued at his mother, so she did not get jealous. 

"Arthur..." Morgana said softly as she went to her crying brother. 

"You remind me when you were born. My tiny 3 year old arms not wanting to let you go." She said smiling up at him as she kneeled next to him to coe at her child. 

"Then you tried to mail me to Australia." Arthur said laughing out and rolled his eyes. 

"You were driving father mad with your crying, I wanted to help." Morgana said rolling her eyes. Merlin giggled adorably at this and Morgana followed in the giggles. 

"He's a prince." Arthur said, just needing to say it. 

"Yes he is."Morgana said as she took the child and walked to the master bedroom since it was in front of the unfinished nursery. She placed the baby in his cradle and chainged into sleeping clothes and took Merlin in her arms and layed on the bed with many pillows on her back. She layed his tiny body in her chest and smiled in joy at her baby. 

Arthur was staying since the racing season was over. He had decided to stay and was already in the guest room, Uther as well was staying, since he could. Morgause and Cenred left and Mordred cleaned everything up and wrote on his planner to call the glass house tomorrow and finally after a nice shower went to bed with his wife and Myrddrin. 

Of course Merlin drempt of Dragons and magical swords and witches. But this time. There were good memories. And he sleep in piece. 

Then again he's a new born so he had to get hungry at 2:43 am crying of hunger. But Morgana happily obliged and feed him milk and carefully burbed him. Allowing them all to go to sleep again. Thanks to the soothing singing of Morgana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I love kudos and comments! They make me wanna keep writing! I have the plot all set out! But if there are scenes you'd like to see! I could take them into consideration! Thanks for reading!


	4. New Arthur: Like It Or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh no pedo incest, but... Arthur did think it, but it is not gone into detail.

Merlin was thankful that time flew a bit faster as a child. He was already a month old. And apparently they were baptizing him. Uther almost demanded it. Morgana was excited. Morgause even more since they would appear in magazines. 

Morgana and Mordred's wedding was everywhere, even Merlin found out about it before he had the dumb idea of reincarnating. But there he was. At a church, his head had already pass the blessed ritual. And now he was being forced to stay still as photographers took countless pictures of them inside and outside the church. If Merlin could somehow kill himself right now. He would. Maybe with his luck in a few more months he'd be born to the same cursed family again. 

But it was nice seeing Gwen. She ended up as his godmother, and Arthur ended up as his godfather. Morgana had said she wanted Gwen to be more family with her and be a real aunt. And Arthur simply because Morgana promised it as a child. And he and Mordred would not have it any other way. 

Soon they were all in a fancy restaurant in the private room that Uther had reserved for far too long. All the family was there. Mordred, Morgana, Myddrin, Uther, Arthur, Morgause, Cenred, Gwen and stragely Lancelot. Gwen and Lancelot looked very close and Merlin noticed how Arthur would look sad when he looked at the rings in the couples hands. 

Merlin reached for Arthur instead of Gwen and she awwed sadly as Arthur laughed softly in victory. "Myrddrin wouldn't betray his favorite uncle." He said and Merlin let out a loud giggle as Arthur cued at him while playing with the babies hands. 

"So Morgana? How's the mother's life hanging?" Gwen asked as she took a sip of wine with a smile. Morgana laughed out softly at that and picked up her wine. "I'd say Myrddrin is an angel, but I fear jinxing myself." Morgana joked and they all shared a few laughs. 

"He seems to be consideret at night, and all all times, only screams for food and change." Mordred said acting all cool as he glanced at Cenred who have him the: 'oh I'm so cool' show, little old joke, not funny, they still laughed. Gosh do they only laugh? 

"Don't all babies do that on default?" Gwen said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Uther had to look up from his plate as he looked at Gwen. "You should see him when he drops his toys by accident. Usually a child would cry, no? You can take anything from him his tiny grasp and he will not cry." Uther said sounding rather menecingly, but then he lightened up, "Yet if you take him from Arthur he makes a bigger scandal than from his grandfather!" Uther finished and Morgana gave her father a wide eyed surprised face. "You admitted Arthur and I make him cry the most?" She said and Uther ushered her too piece while everyone managed to be teasing. 

Yet even if the conversation was about the baby and Arthur. They were not present. They just continued to stare at each other. Arthur looked absolutely enchanted. Merlin on the other hand, looked sleepy, but he continued to hold on to a finger of the hand holding his head and neck ever so gently. Arthur mumbled something softly and the baby started to look more sleepy. Merlin's left eyes golden ring lit up slightly as Arthur managed to shush him to sleep. 

Suddenly Arthur realized there was a quite strikingningly dumbing sound of silence as everyone watched him closely. 

"You made him fall asleep?" Morgana asked softly, not believing it. "I usually stay up late because he loves watching us sleep." She added and Mordred looked a bit disturbed at that. Every one looked expectantly at Arthur and he got nervous. 

"Maybe he's just thinking at night?" He managed to blurt out and Uther was the first to stifle a laugh. "Son I don't think babies need to think." Uther said, very well calling all babies dumb. 

Arthur looked almost insulted, especially when his hunched over shoulders straightened up. "Well you don't know that." Arthur defended and there was a thick silence again. Everyone held in their laughter as Arthur stood up with Myrddrin. Keeping the baby defended. 

"Arthur since your staying at home, I trust you can take care of my beautiful Livian." Morgana said and it struck Arthur that everyone's wine had kicked in already. He rolled his eyes a bit disappointed as he put the baby in the carrier and took the bag, being somehow, a better father. 

"Morgana are you sure?" Mordred asked not so subtlety. She shaked her head and took another sip of wine. "He's my brother I trust him." She finished that topic off when she winked at a slightly agitated Arthur. That proceeded to bolt away to, thankfully not one of his many sports cars, but to one he used for family outings, or if you had a kid. 

He made it to the car opened the back door placed the carrier with the baby and closed the door. He got in the car and threw the baby bag to the side and gripped the wheel when he gasped. "God I forgot to tie you up!" He said feeling stupid and clumsy. He got out again, opened the door and began the struggle to fasten it all. 

"Your dad and Father are the usually the ones to put you in the car. I have no idea how- ah! aha!" Arthur said getting closer since he read the instructions. "God, I am so clumsy, I'm not supposed to be the clumsy one. You are..." Arthur had said jokingly, but then saddened when he backed off and grabbed the adorable babies kicking feet. "I really do hope I get you back..." He said with tears in his eyes and Merlin let out tiny giggles as he tried to get out of Arthurs lose hold on the babies miniscule feet. 

"Merlin... I love you..." Arthur said softly as he leaned in, moving the babies hair out of the way and kissed his forehead, and then his nose. But he stopped there. He backed away quickly and closed the door and got in the driver's seat and started the car. What was he thinking, what had come threw his mind, why did he look so afraid? Merlin asked himself that. Arthur drove back to his sister's, almost a mansion house with a bit to much on overboard with the glass. 

He then decided to just pull Merlin and the baby back out, he did indeed struggle with holding a baby and a bag the wrong way and alzoyget the keys from your pocket. And open the door. He managed so with great effort and he decided to go to the nursery. 

It missed a few things, but over all it was almost complete. He sat on the recliner in there with Merlin in his arms as he rocked them both to sleep. 

"Oh if I could only just go away and keep you." He said in a dreemy manor as he looked far off. "But I can't take care of kids. And they are very rich, they would find me eventually. I'll always bee a constant in your life." He said looking to another side of the room. "I'll let those traitors raise you. Your real parents this time..." He said that but with hidden hate and disgust. But then his voice turned sweet. He picked up Merlin's tiny baby hand and placed his pinky on the babies. "Promise me I'll get to sweep you way off your feet and get to keep you for real when you are older?" He said smiling brightly, maybe even bitter sweet, all the complications he didn't want to think about. But Merlin didn't care. He moved his hand and wrapped his hand around Arthur's pinky. 

The other man looked so shocked, then over joyed as tears feel down his face. "I know your in there. My love." Arthur said as took a few more moments to bask in this feeling. 

Soon enough he went to warm some breast milk from the fridge that Morgana had taken out this morning. And when he made sure it wasn't hot enough to hurt. He feed the adorable baby. Myrddrin sucked on the bottle quite viciously with huge gulps; placing his hands over Arthur's as Arthur chuckled a bit darkly. "Let's hope you have that same vigor when your older." He said and Merlin dreaded Arthur's true change. 

"Sorry about that," Arthur interrupted Melrin's mental breakdown. "You looked a bit scared, don't worry, I wouldn't do anything to a baby." He said in his charming voice, but then it turned dark and scary again, "but that doesn't mean I can't dream. Huh little one." He smirked at the baby who he soon started burping, thank god he had remembered. 

Merlin soon realized; Arthur had changed. Same as he had. But this was fierce and he didn't know if he liked it.


	5. Miscreation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aha it got darker. Guess I gotta fix them TAGS

"Aww! That's the cutest 2 month baby I've ever seen!" One of Morgana new friends, and Co workers, from this life yelped. She scooped up the baby and cooed at it. "Oh he's so precious!" She said as she didn't hold him all that right. Morgana tried not to freet. Merlin didn't remember her much. But he was sure she was the girl that was killed by the same witch that tried to sing everyone to sleep and kill Arthur. 

"Ma!" Merlin managed to say as he wiggled around back to Morgana, this made his mother light up like a firework. "My baby called me ma!" She said happily as she took her baby and kissed all over his face and chubby cheeks. "It's ma maa!" Morgana said, her eyes shining with só much happiness that it hurt Merlin so much he forced out a giggle. But it sounded sad to him. "Maaaa! MA!" Merlin did his best with his current vocal organs, but it was enough to please his mother into keeping him in her arms. 

Merlin decided to sleep, since this was a ladies party. He was sure to die of boredom. He knew they were taking pictures of him but, he ignored it and soon feel into a blissful sleep. 

Soon enough he awoke in the family room of his house, it looked dark out and he moved his head a bit to see who had such strong and warm arms. He raised his tiny fist to him mouth as he hid a few laughs as he looked at the love struken expression on Arthur's face. 

"Who gave you the right to have such a beautiful laughter?" He teased the baby as it laughed some more, playing with the hand he had placed close to the smaller ones. "Oh my love." Arthur said softly and Merlin just looked at him with his big blue eyes. His golden ring glowing faintly. 

"My warlock." He said sleepily but did not want to keep his eyes off his nephew. "Oh I'm terrible aren't I?" Arthur laughed to himself, probably thinking of something he shouldn't, considering his face of embarrassement. 

"Oh lord. So many things I want to tell you... I know you have your memories, you are my Merlin... But your such a tiny baby, I'm sure your brain can't handle it. You can't even control your magic..." He said thinking a bit too much, then he faltered in tone." Oh your magic. It must have been horrible, to hold it in always when in Camelot... It's a miracle it did not consume you." He said but hurriedly added, "I knew you wouldn't kill me, well I know that now... not back then." He said as he held his head in pain, causing a questionful baby noise as he sighed. "Gosh I am such a fool... But I've always had you. In here, in my heart. But now I have you here... in my arms. Next to my heart. It only beats for you Merlin. Only you." Arthur said dreamily to the baby as he coed it, try and get more giggles from him. Then he succeeded and laughed along with Merlin. 

"Myddrin literally means Merlin. I convinced my sister since we where young that her kid shouobe called Merlin. But she didn't like it, so I said Livian. But technically, I named you. She likes to think she thought about it instead." He said drawling out a lot of words. But Merlin happily listened. 

"Do you promise when your older to come live with me when you go to university? I'll make sure to move wherever it is you will go to study at. I'll have you for sure at your 18th birthday. It is. As they say! Destiny!" Arthur said dramatically as he picked up Merlin from his lap and stood up to go to the kitchen. 

"You stinky brat, I gotta clean your diapers now do I? Oh thats something I can embarrasse you with when you're older." Arthur said as he tried to do it as professionally as he could, he did end up wiping down the entire changing table. Since... Huh... He drooped something. Wet. 

But a few minutes later he was done as happily sat back down with all of the exhaustion of the world. "Race car drivers... Especially prattish ones like me, are not made to take care of babies. Can't believe I thought of taking you on your first night alive! Haha!" Arthur laughed to himself as he let the baby snuggle up on his chest. 

Suddenly, well more like an hour of silence later, since Merlin truly could not get ahold of the time passing. He's lived so long his mind really stopped registering it, and now that it's a baby it's really bad. But he did notice a tear drop that feel on his chubby cheeks. His blue eyes opened to see a hand over Arthur's face; he was crying, very much, and it looked liked it had been a while. His face stained with tears and his eyes red and his cheeks puffy. 

Myddrin let out a giggle, trying to cheer up Arthur. He was being a bit cruel wasn't he, not letting Arthur completely belive he was his true over 400 year old self and not his self that was lost in time; but he let Arthur believe he was in between it.

He feared the way Arthur looked at him. 

***

"Mordred! Why are you feeding our 3 month year-old jumbo cheetos?" Morgana said picking up the green open chip bag and placed it next to her face so Mordred would register what she was saying and wanting him to see her almost pissed off incredulous expression. 

Mordred simply had his hands full of cheese as he held a cheeto he was helping his son drool on so he would not choak on it and nibble at it happily. There was honestly a mess of cheese and Mordred's face was innocent and honestly out of it. 

"He did the graby hand thing, we're rich I am going to spoil him! I can legally do it, your dad did that with all his kids, you all own huge foundations and donate all the time. My family spoiled me rotten as well! Look at me, I set up galas so people try on my jewelry, buy it and then donate 75% to organizations all around the world. Again I am feeding our kid a few cheetos. I will please him as much as I want as long as it good for him. And a few don't kill. " Mordred began explaining his actions and Morgana kept looking at him more incredulously as she kept waiting for her husband to come up with something good. But he didn't on her case. 

Then a camera shutter went off and Arthur's histerical giggles were after as he looked at the picture. "Oh memories. Ahaah Morgy. Hahah! Your face, oh, I'm going to die." Arthur said laughing internally as Mordred sighed as Morgana took a way the three cheetos he hand in his other hand. 

"Let him finish that one but please give him his carrot and beans puree." Morgana said handing Arthur the cheetos as she washed her hands and walked off to get her coat, smoothy and purse. She ran back to kiss her babies slobbery cheeks and then her husband's lips as Mordred kissed back. Arthur almost gagged but he received glares. 

"Myddrin baby mama is gwoing to go to work to set some stwuff out okay baby? I'mma be bwak swoon." Morgana baby talked and received an adorable baby clapping as he smiled and giggled at his mom. 

Morgana looked a million and a thousand times happier as her eyes widened. "Mama is going to take you out to the backyard okay baby?" She promised as she ruffled up Myddrin's hair because she knew Mordred would be annoyed. 

"Love you my boys!" Morgan said as she finally left and threw kisses and bye byes at her baby that also attempted to wave. 

"Arthur get the damn carrot and beans smoothy or whatever she called it." Mordred said as he finally relaxed and smiled at his soon, but spoke to the Arthur that was struggling to put the puree in a small bowl. He half hazardly put the rest away as he managed to give a displeased Mordred a messy spoon bowl. 

"Morgana leaves me with babies. And only one of them is incompetent." Mordred said as he cleaned the spoon on the apron he always donned when he used the blender. Considering Arthur stumbled whenever he entered any area where food was related. 

"I don't need people to feed me or change my diapers." Arthur said smugly as he accidentally tasted some of the puree and almost cried when he looked at his coffee. "There's why..." He mumbled and Mordred laughed out. 

"We happen to feed you and your dad, ALWAYS, gets you out of what ever disaster you do! At least you design good cars and your dad loves em, and you can take over his business. But I have to say, why must you be a race car driver?" Mordred asked but Arthur's smirk was enough for Mordred as he nodded and fed his baby again, his face with understanding. 

"Only way to drive race cars at illegal speeds." Mordred spoke what Arthur's face clearly yelled. 

"So, why is he so fat?" Arthur teased and Mordred glared. "Is being a bully in the Pendragon blood? You and Morgana are always teasing him. I like that Gwen, she doesn't tease my son. Her husband either." Mordred said knowing he'd get Arthur upset but he didn't let his face show what he truly intended. 

Arthur's face darkened at that and his  
is aura suddenly changed and even Merlin felt the ominous aura as he took a sip of his coffee.

"There's the real Arthur Pendragon the fifth." Mordred teased as his aura changed as well. Yet when he looked at his son it was full of love and adoration as he feed him and watched out for him and helped him with the food that feel out of his mouth. 

Let's refrase this, his aura was menacing towards Arthur not to Merlin. But Arthur's was something dark that shouldn't be there. 

Merlin was glad he just wanted to see what went down. He wasn't scared he was with Mordered. The man that killed his king... But right now his king was terrifying him. 

"Mordred really, what is it you want? You want Morgana and dad and everyone else to see this?" Arthur said coldly and calculatevely. His eyes felt icey and again just dark and... almost evil, if that was the word for it. 

"You know I don't like leaving my kid with you. You're not as innocent as you let yourself out to be." Mordred said and Merlin soon understood why Mordred's eyes didn't leave Merlin. "You do know even if you are family. It's still kidnapping." Mordred added and Arthur scoffed. 

"I still didn't take him." Arthur defended as he began circling the father and son. "I couldn't hurt Morgana like that." He added and Mordred scoffed this time. 

"You can't take care of yourself, you can't even take care of a baby." The black haired designer said as he fed his baby, he had to keep getting his sons attention off his hands to look at the spoon. Mordred opened his mouth so Merlin did it too. He didn't feel like being a pest. 

"I just have a thing for blue eyed dark haired fair skinned babes." Arthur said as he eyed Mordred and Myddrin. 

"Could I ask you to abstain from looking at my son like your next... pray." Mordred said struggling with what he really wanted to say, not wanting to say it I front of his child. 

"Mordred you know I can't fuck a baby right?" Arthur said and smiled. He looked depraved as he leaned in over the island counter they were on. Merlin caught a glance at his eyes and began crying as he reached out for his father and Mordred obliged and stood up to back away from Arthur and held his crying child protectively. 

Arthur chuckled and he left his mug on the counter. "Oh dear... Don't forget to burp him daddy." He sighed with his unnatural smile. It wasn't warm. It was terrifying. That's why Merlin was crying, his emotions transmited in a child's, was very uncontrollable. So he just cried absolutely terrified as Arthur decided to walk away as he dusted his hands. 

"To bad I can't kick you out." Mordred said treateningly. Almost saying that if not for Morgana he would have kicked Arthur out and kill him before any one else suffered. 

Myddrin's tiny fists balled up on his father's shirt as he cried harder and Mordred was heart broken. He let out a sob at his child when Arthur was finally out of sight. "Don't worry baby." Mordered muttered in Merlin's hair as he rubbed his head and kissed it. "I'll keep you safe from... from... that, miscreation." Mordred managed to say and Merlin had to agree. He had to admit as well; no one should have lived so long watching the world change. 

Mordred shushed him down enough and burb him. Keeping him next to him till Morgana made it home to her baby and husband, her brother watching from afar.


End file.
